I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
