just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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