I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Randomize
