I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
