I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize