I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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