.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
