Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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