Swine flu. Run for my life!
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
