I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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