i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
