You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
