On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize