Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
