The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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