I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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