I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
