I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
