im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
