it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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