the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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