i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
