I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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