I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
