have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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