How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize