I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
