from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
