Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The air was thick with penises
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
