so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
