I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
