You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
