Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
