you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
