the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
