kristin has been a bad kristin
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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