Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
