I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
