you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
