All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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