Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
