I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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