I wish I could teleport
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
