You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
