Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I booty called her while she was in labor.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
