Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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