I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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