So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
