i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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