In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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