i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
