Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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